I have practiced Ashtanga yoga almost every day for the last 2 years. Now that I am pregnant, nearly everyday people ask me about my practice, and how it feels. Everyday I give them the same answer – which I think shocks them half the time – “It feels amazing.” Pregnancy has completely shifted the way I look at my yoga practice, and my entire view on exercise as a whole.
I used to be really competitive in my practice. Truthfully, I used to be really competitive in almost every aspect of my life. Not only with myself but with the people around me. Usually, I pushed myself beyond my comfort zone, and it wasn’t always safe. I remember when I first started practicing, I would force myself into certain precarious postures that my body just wasn’t ready for. On most days I came out of my practice in pain. I needed to prove that I was “good enough” at ashtanga; I wanted to be the best. It was probably a very unhealthy attitude to have about the whole thing, but it was an attitude that was beat into me as a young athlete – no pain, no gain.
But the second I found out I was pregnant, everything changed.
I no longer felt the need to push myself into discomfort. I stopped feeling the need to compare myself to everyone around me – I stopped being competitive with myself. Practice suddenly wasn’t about me anymore, it was about something greater. It was about my body being as healthy as possible to support my growing baby. I began honouring my body and slowing down when I needed to.
Now I show up everyday, without any expectations. I notice how my body feels and and I honour what it is capable in that moment. That’s it – it’s so simple and it’s so f*cking beautiful.
For the first time in my life, I don’t compare, or judge, or expect – I just do.
It’s so liberating, and it is the ultimate practice of mindfulness. Of being in the present moment, observing each movement without attachment. I think it’s actually how yoga is supposed to be practiced. All exercise for that matter. However, generally speaking I think many people practice yoga, or run, or lift weights “in-order-too…” fill in the blank. To lose weight, become more flexible, to say they did it, or to become fit. As though it’s just a means to an end. Now there is absolutely nothing WRONG with that. Let me make that clear. It’s just something to notice and be mindful of. But the practice of showing up, without expectations, or goals or ideals and simply giving myself permission to honour my body in the moment, is the best thing I have ever done for myself.
So whether you are pregnant or not. A beginner or not. A super duper advanced practitioner, a marathoner, a cross-fit super star, a rugby player or not. Whatever your practice is, I encourage you to try this on. Like a new pair of shoes, try on the idea that exercise doesn’t always have to be a means to an end. Giving yourself permission to do what you do without judgement, expectation or ideals may be the best thing you ever do too.
